David Cameron to make case for bombing Climate Change

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The Prime Minister David Cameron will travel to the Climate conference in Paris to make his case for a ‘green coalition’ that can launch a series of airstrikes against Climate Change.

“The time has come to take action,” said the Prime Minister as his hand tenderly caressed a five-inch scale model of a missile.

“We need to do something about Climate Change. Bombing Climate Change is a thing. Therefore we should definitely do it.”

“I mean, that’s just logic.”

Opponents to the Prime Minister’s plans say that there are far better ways to tackle the threat of Climate Change, such as carbon reduction and reforestation, and that you can’t really bomb an idea out of existence.

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“They are clearly communists,” retorted a strident Mr Cameron.

“I mean, if they don’t want to tackle Climate Change, then that’s fine. But I do, and that’s why I hope my resolution to bomb it will be approved.”

It is understood that after bombing Climate Change David Cameron plans to solve everything by bombing poverty, ill-health, and crime.

Whilst there is strong opposition to the plans within the Labour party, they have found favour with a particular ex-Prime Minister.

“Bombing Climate Change,” said Tony Blair, his voice thick with arousal.

“God, I wish I’d thought of that.”