Good guy with a gun fails to prevent 2,708th successive mass shooting

author avatar by 8 years ago

America is beginning to wonder precisely when a good guy with a gun is actually going to prevent a mass shooting.

The good guy with a gun has been cited as an effective deterrent against firearm homicide, but has thus far failed to save any of the 174,000 Americans killed by firearms since 2000.

With another three dead and eleven wounded this morning, some Americans have started to wonder where the heck this good guy actually is.

Some dissenting voices have begun to question if he even exists.

However, NRA spokesman Simon-Bob Williams insisted the strategy was sound.

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“If fewer people were armed we’d actually have more mass shootings, not less”, he told us, with his eyes pointing in different directions.

“That’s how logic works in these here parts, boy, and don’t you forget it.

“We armed teachers, airline passengers, the police, bus drivers, passers-by and deranged rednecks in a bid to boost safety.”

“It’s just we forgot about the pregnant mothers is all. To prevent this happening again, we will be urging congress to pass ‘Gravid carry’ laws.”

Simon-Bob went on to add that if they hadn’t been wanting abortions they wouldn’t have been shot anyway, so it was their fault when you think about it.