Next year’s Oscars to add Best Christmas Advert category

author avatar by 7 years ago

The Oscars are to include a Best Christmas Advert category to recognise their significant cultural contribution.

Christmas adverts have emerged as one of the premier art forms of the 21st century, including levels of storytelling, special effects and genuine human emotion unseen since the glory days of Hollywood all perfectly combined to flog you tins of Quality Street and bog roll.

The statuette will be awarded for ‘The most significant achievement in utilising emotional blackmail or a beloved children’s character to get you to buy crap you don’t want or need’.

“Look at some of the adverts this year”, a spokesman for the Academy Awards told us.

“There’s that one about the peeping Tom on the moon – Johnny Depp has been looking for something a bit darker and was was furious his agent didn’t get him that one.”

“And the one about the comedy cat who almost ruins Christmas? Better than anything Tim Burton has done in twenty years.”

“Although we’ve got to admit the Coke advert with the big lorry wasn’t a patch on Mad Max.”

Hollywood has cried foul over the decision, protesting that although they may be pursuing moral and intellectual bankruptcy there’s no way they can compete with Coca Cola.