We can’t take refugees as it’s too easy for them to get guns here, says Texas with a perfectly straight face

author avatar by 9 years ago

The state of Texas has refused to take any refugee, explaining its ‘waaaay too easy for people to get guns here’ whilst keeping a perfectly straight face.

Without cracking once, a spokesman for the state legislature told reporters that it was far too dangerous as any old lunatic can just walk up to a counter and buy firearms and heaven knows where that might lead.

“What if some guy with a beard and a twitch in his eye who hasn’t washed in six months wants to buy a gun?” He said.

“By which I mean, someone from Syria with a beard and a twitch, and not someone from El Paso. Obviously there’s a big difference.”

“You can’t be too careful about who you let have guns unless being careful about who you let have guns threatens their second amendment rights,” he added without so much as a blink.

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In other news, Presidential hopeful Donald Trump said he wouldn’t rule out requiring Muslims to wear a yellow crescent stitched to their clothes, as there’s no history of that sort of thing going wrong anywhere, ever.

“Right now if I meet a fat guy with a beard I can’t tell if he’s in a heavy metal band, a Muslim, or one of my voters”, Trump said.

“Clearly I need some help here.”