‘We’re all in this together’ says David Cameron from onboard his new plane

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The Prime Minister reiterated his commitment to austerity for everyone in the country from the luxury bar/restaurant on-board his brand new RAF Voyager A330.

“Rest assured that the enormous swathe of cuts soon to be announced will impact everyone regardless of their station,” he confirmed, putting his feet up on the newly fitted soft leather sofa, as his butler brought him a glass of champagne.

“Whilst I realise that it may look like giving myself a ruddy massive new plane is a little insensitive at such a time, I too have made compromises.”

“This butler on this plane is the same one I use at the residence and the champagne is Moet rather than Krug, so don’t tell me I don’t know the cruel bite of austerity.”

The plane, refitted at a cost of £10m is expected to be used mainly for family holidays and following Mr Cameron carrying his papers when he cycles through London to remind everyone that he likes to look a bit green.

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When challenged that a private jet isn’t the most austere choice of transport, Number 10 was quick to point out that it’s not like the Prime Minister ordered a private submarine as well.

He’ll wait till next year before he does that.