Missing ISIS gunman enjoying tea at Jeremy Corbyn’s house

author avatar by 9 years ago

On the run ISIS gunman, Salah Abdeslam, is holed up this morning at known terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn’s Islington semi.

Upon hearing of the gunmen’s plight, Corbyn contacted the assassin via What’s App and offered him a first class Eurostar ticket to London Waterloo.

Corbyn’s generous offer rests on the sole condition that Abdeslam takes his shoes off and leaves his Kalashnikov in the hallway.

The ISIS psychopath spent a relaxed evening in front of Corbyn’s wood burner, recounting the recent atrocities over tea and Digestive biscuits.

A source close to Corbyn said, “Jeremy was the perfect English gentleman and put Abdeslam at ease by asking him ‘How do you prefer to be called – ISIS ISIL or Da’esh?'”

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The rabid left-winger has previously offered sanctuary to known fugitives like Gerry Adams, Martin McGuiness and Diane Abbot .

Meanwhile international terrorism expert, Simon Williams, applauded Corbyn’s touchy feely-stance.

“The only way you will get inside the heads of an organisation like ISIS, ISIL or Da’esh is by sitting their members down in front of a warm fire and getting them to talk about their feelings,” he told us.

“Apparently the two men watched some telly together, while Jeremy explained that you can be a socialist and believe in God.”

“Things did get a bit heated when Abdeslam described the John Lewis Christmas advert as ‘idolatrous’ and asked why the underage girl hadn’t been raped yet.”

Corbyn added, “Mr Abdeslam was making very good progress until he went for a brisk morning walk in Hyde Park and saw two men kissing.”

“That’s made him feel a bit ‘shooty’ to be honest.”