MI6 to use drones to look down ladies’ tops

author avatar by 9 years ago

MI6 will use proposed new investigatory powers to look down ladies tops with drones, they have acknowledged today.

Drone observation plays an important role in both tracking terror suspects and getting an eyeful of cleavage from altitude, security sources confirmed.

London mayor Boris Johnson has come out in strong support of the security services demand for new powers, saying drone technology has an important role to play especially in the park on a sunny day.

“We understand the public concerns over these powers, but we assure you that if you’ve not got a lovely big pair of Wally Jumblatts in a low-cut top to hide then you’ve nothing to fear,” security spokesman Simon Williams told us.

“By monitoring potential terror threats from a distance by using remote-operated drones we can gain access to intelligence and perky baps which might otherwise be inaccessible.”

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“Look, this is for the security of the nation”, he insisted. “Phwoar! Look at the knockers on- oh, is that thing still on?”

Once drones have been deployed to track important issues of concern, the security services intend to seek legal powers to access your camera phone “for strictly professional reasons.”