The Queen got Jeremy Corbyn to ‘bow properly’ when they met last night by gluing a pound to the floor, we can report today.
Palace sources indicated Her Majesty was concerned the Labour leader would not show due deference when they met, and so sought to prevent a tricky situation arising by arranging matters appropriately.
The pound coin chosen was a ‘really shiny one’ which could not fail to attract the eye, and was attached to the floor with a good big dollop of Araldite to ensure it’d take some time to get off.
“As a socialist, we were pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to resist launching himself after someone else’s money,” a palace equerry told us.
“And it worked brilliantly. He was down there for a good five minutes. In fact the hard part was getting him to stand up.”
“All in all it was the best outcome for all concerned, as if he hadn’t bowed Prince Philip was going to get him to double up by hoofing him in the happy sacks”.
The ruse was so successful that the Queen sent Charles to the local petrol station for some change to use at future meetings.
After the meeting with the Queen, Corbyn made a public statement that the fact it was possible to find money just lying around on the floor ‘proved that austerity is a lie.’