by 
A cat in a carry box is loudly demanding to speak to his lawyer today.
Max, a six month old tabby, is claiming to be the victim of an extraordinary rendition after being falsely accused of planning to spray his owner’s settee.
He was then lured into the carry box in a sting operation involving someone hitting a can of Whiskas with a fork and a handful of Kitekat.
“It all happened so fast”, he told us. “One minute I was licking my ringpiece, and the next someone had stuck a towel over my head and locked me in this box.
“I’m afraid they’re taking me to Guantanamo Bay with all the other hairy terrorists.
“I just want my phone call, and if I don’t get it, this is turning into a dirty protest, get me?”
Max’s captors are remaining tight-lipped about their intentions, holding discussions in whispers or in the next room to prevent him overhearing.
“They just keep giving me meaningful looks and making a snipping action with their fingers.
“What’s that supposed to mean? I’ll be getting a haircut?”
