An undercover operation carried out using hidden cameras has revealed that non-halal meat is being routinely killed with kindness.
The footage, which is too cute to show, contains images of animals being hugged and tickled until their hearts are so full of love that they peacefully pass away.
The news is expected to add fuel to press revelations that the public may have unwittingly eaten cuddle-free meat.
Animal rights groups, such as the EDL, BNP and UKIP have called on meat packaging to be clearly labelled.
“I think this footage shows that my anger at having unknowingly eaten halal meat is entirely to do with animal welfare and not with having an excuse to moan about Muslims,” one non-racist told us.
“I won’t eat a chicken unless I’ve got photographic evidence of the smile on its face before it died.
“Did you know that some of the animals used in halal meat are alive before they’re killed?