Wednesday 4 November 2015 by Spacey

Theresa May outlines plans to remove civil liberties before terrorists do

Theresa May

Theresa May has published the draft investigatory powers bill which details how the government intend to remove your civil liberties before terrorists do.

Ms May was keen to stress that if people had nothing to hide then they had nothing to fear, but she added that a decision on what people should hide and fear hasn’t yet been made.

“I will address all fears and concerns about the investigatory powers bill by making all fears and concerns about the investigatory powers bill illegal,” she announced.

Internet users have questioned the need for the introduction of the new surveillance powers.

“It’s amazing the lengths the government will go to in order to find out what people masturbate to,” said Internet enthusiast Darryl Ferguson.

“To be honest, I could crack one-off to an error message so I doubt my browsing history will provide much insight.”

“Anyway, while they’re arsing about on the internet I’ll plan my criminal activity by fax machine.”

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