by 
The Photoshop team at Conservative Central Office has claimed they gave David Cameron a poppy only after failing in their primary objective to give him a ‘conscience’.
The party was criticised for adding a poppy to a photo of the prime minister – instead of buying one and taking of photo of him wearing it – despite insisting the poppy was one of the least fake things in the picture.
A spokesperson for the photoshop team told us, “We tried to explain that giving a someone a ‘soul’ was simply not within the realm of possibility when you’re working with the Adobe product set.”
“Even rudimentary emotional traits can prove quite difficult. We can maybe make his smile look a little less sinister, but make him look ‘compassionate’? No chance.”
“So they asked what we could give him, and we told them ‘a poppy’ – they seemed happy enough with that. Well, until everyone found out. Obviously.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is to be honest. I mean, as artists we strive to create consistent themes throughout our work, and what better way than by adding a fake poppy to a fake smile from a man littered with fake promises, it all seems pretty consistent enough to us?”
