Saturday 31 October 2015

Firework displays going from ‘Oooh’ to ‘that’s enough now’ in record time


Fireworks displays

Seasonal firework displays have grown tiresome in a record space of time, according to sources this evening.

Just minutes after the first scattering of multicoloured explosions littered the night sky, homeowners close to every display have said, “that’s enough now, don’t you think?”

Simon Williams told us, “I mean really, how many things can you fire into the sky to explode before they all start to look the same?

“That’s not fireworkist, I just want to know why they have to come here and go about exploding in my back garden?

“I liked the first one, it was great.  And the couple after that.  But after about two dozen I start to wonder what the attraction is? Twenty minutes in I want to kill whoever keeps lighting them.

“Maybe we should just have one display that everyone can go to, well away from me? Somewhere up north maybe?”

Firework display enthusiasts have rejected the suggestion from Williams, with year-round firework fan Michael Davis telling us Williams couldn’t be more wrong, explaining, “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Fireworks are brilliant and we should be setting them off all year round if you ask me.

“Some people suggest that an obsession with fireworks is just a way of keeping your pyromania under control. But that’s just nonsense.

“I mean, watch this next one, it screams at a slightly different pitch on the way up, and explodes into two different colours at the top.

“It’s an amazing firework, and only £75 a pop.”

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