Chilcot inquiry to be published June or July in 2016 or 3016

author avatar by 7 years ago

The long-awaited report into the Iraq war will be released in the Summer either next year or in the next thousand years.

Sir John Chilcot has taken six years over the report so far with nothing to show for it, which puts him just behind the average plumber in terms of productivity.

Chilcot made the announcement after having thrown a dart at a stack of calendars and hoping for the best.

“It’s great to have a choice of four definite answers as to when we might possibly see something” said journalist Simon Williams.

“I’m quite hoping that it will come out next year as opposed to next millennium, as I’ve got some fairly heavy decomposition planned between now and then.”

“I know how he feels though. It takes me ages to do dull things. My wife is still banging on at me to put some curtains up but it’s a really tedious task and I don’t really want to do it.”

“Mind you, my not putting curtains up isn’t causing major distress to anyone waiting on the results, unless you count my wife, which I don’t.”