Labour to focus on Jeremy Corbyn’s sex appeal

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The Labour party will today launch a new campaign to gain popularity with the wider public by focusing on the immense sexual appeal of their new leader.

“Jeremy Corbyn is a very, very sexy man,” said a Labour insider.

“And frankly; sex sells, so initially we’ll be starting with a ‘Jeremy’s sex tips’ column in the Morning Star.”

“But that’s just the start. Expect a much more flirtatious PMQs, a bedroom confessions book from his wife, and lots and lots of swimwear photo opportunities.”

The new ‘Sex-Corbyn’ will make his debut on the Today programme on Thursday where he will reveal how to always satisfy your wife or partner before trying to get off with Sarah Montague.

Further plans include an album of Barry White covers followed by an appearance in Basic Instinct 3, in which he is expected have a large part.

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The focus on Mr Corbyn’s sexuality looks like it will find favour with the public.

“Phwoar, Jeremy Corbyn? I bloody would,” said office drudge Simon Williams.

“I mean, Labour simply aren’t credible on the economy or defence, but with a sea-moistened, glistening Jeremy Corbyn in a pair of board shorts – who cares! They’ll get my vote.”

David Cameron is expected to counter this new sexy Labour as soon as he finds a Tory with genitals.