Annoying pricks all set to remind you it’s getting darker earlier

author avatar by 7 years ago

Annoying pricks everywhere are all set to point out that it’s getting darker earlier since the clocks went back.

With some people treating daytime becoming nighttime as some kind of unexplained phenomenon, the likelihood of someone pointing out what you have already realised over a number of years is expected to increase dramatically at about 4.30pm.

Some workers have expressed frustration at their colleagues’ inability to work out that the clocks going back by an hour will have the immediate impact of it getting darker an hour earlier.

“I worked out the visible effects of putting the clocks back many, many years ago,” explained 34-year-old Graham Holliday.

“No doubt I’ll have still worked it out when I am reminded for the 16th fucking time later on today.

“What gets me is the way people tut and shake their head when they tell you.

“It’s as if they think it’s some kind of EU conspiracy.”

Shopkeepers have also pointed out that they are in danger of resorting to violence as they struggle to cope with being reminded of what they already know by every other person that enters their premises.

“The clocks go back every year and have done for nearly a century,” sobbed Tony Cruickshank of TC Convenience Store in Wigan.

“I know that it’s getting dark earlier than it was this time last week.

“I know this because I am in close proximity to a window, and the window’s mystical see-through qualities allow me to see that it’s getting dark outside.

“Seriously, if I had a pound for every time someone told me that it’s getting dark I’d have enough money to pay the prices I charge for cat food.”