Milk Tray man issued with a restraining order

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The Milk Tray man has been issued with a restraining order, banning him from leaving boxes of chocolates in women’s bedrooms without their consent.

The heroic figure pleaded guilty to multiple counts of serial stalking over a period of decades after he went to extreme lengths to prove his love to women who were ‘completely uninterested’ in him.

Some of his victims went to extreme lengths to escape his attentions, including moving to secluded clifftop villas or to a yacht in an isolated cove, but this simply resulted in him becoming convinced they were simply playing hard to get.

“I just thought that if I broke into their bedroom at 3am and stared at them a bit before leaving a box of cheap confectionary and a card they’d see it as romantic,” he told the court in a statement.

“It never occurred to me for one moment that this might be seen as threatening or creepy.”

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“If you sneak into a woman’s house in the dead of night that’s just a way of showing how much you care, isn’t it?”

He was then advised by his lawyer to “Shut up, you’re just making things worse.”

One of his victims tearfully described the experience of his relentless pursuit as ‘soul destroying’ as not only did he leave really cheap, crumbly chocolates behind, he also always ate the coffee cremes off the bottom layer first.