Nursery rhyme star, Little Bo Peep, has been issued with a lifetime ban on owning livestock following the negligent loss of her flock of sheep.
The Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs have stepped in concerned for the welfare of animals under charge.
A spokesman for DEFRA, Simon Williams, said Peep’s attitude to the disappearance of such a large number of the ovine animals amounted to gross negligence on her part.
“We understand that upon her discovering the sheep were missing, she opted to ‘leave them alone’ convinced they would return home of their own volition,” he told us.
“This clearly displays a wanton disregard for the welfare of animals in her stead, and we very much doubt, no matter their whereabouts, their tails will be ‘wagging behind them’.”
Welshman, Ivan Mount, was more relaxed about the loss of the sheep, given sightings in the Cardiff area.
“The Welsh nation have taken the rough with the smooth recently what with the Rugby World Cup exit and European Championship qualification, so Peep’s aberration has added just a little more smooth.”
“Good on her.”
Primary school children across the UK also came out in support of Peep, saying her mishaps had provided much enjoyment down the years.
“We have been singing about her poor sheep herding skills for some time now and to think that has been taken away from us is upsetting,” said 6-year-old.
“What if they make them into lamb chops?”
“Oh yummy – lock her up.”