Cameron rinses mouth out thoroughly after private meeting with Chinese leader

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David Cameron has spent a good twenty minutes in the bathroom really giving his mouth a proper rinse after a private meeting with Chinese leader Xi Jinping.

“It was a very productive meeting,” said the Prime Minister, as he picked what looked like a small curly hair from between his front teeth.

“Mr Jinping gave our power industry a significant boost by investing in the Hinckley Point nuclear power plant, and I gave Mr Jinping….well, I don’t really think we need to go into what I gave Mr Jinping.”

“Does anyone have a mint?”

Mr Jinping’s private meeting with the Prime Minister followed a private meeting with George Osborne which took place just before the Chancellor’s emergency visit to his proctologist.

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Despite the professed success of the meeting, Mr Cameron looked a little unwell as he chatted to journalists and turned positively green when asked about the state balls to be held for the Chinese leader.

He left shortly after, complaining of a wardrobe problem.

“And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll need to have the butler look at these trousers as the knees seem to be really worn down.”