NRA demands fire engines be equipped with flame throwers

author avatar by 9 years ago

Fire engines across America should be equipped with flame-throwers to improve their life-saving capabilities, according to the National Rifle Association.

The association believes Fire Departments in all states should have their vehicles modified to furnish them with the best possible means of fighting blazes in a manner befitting of the founding fathers.

CEO and Executive Vice President of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre, insisted the proposal would meet with approval from the vast majority of right-minded American citizens.

“Why on earth would we send American heroes, the men and women of Fire departments all over the country, into battle without the requisite tools to fight back against their greatest foe?” he asked assembled journalists.

“If you know there is a chance you might get burned, wouldn’t you at least like the ability to protect yourself by getting in there first, incinerating the bastard and all around him at the slightest hint of smoke?

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“That’s what I’m talking about here, the only person who can to stop a really bad fire is a good guy with a fire.”

He went on to imply more could be done to further assist other emergency services currently working in the United States.

‘When I look at the lifeguards patrolling on our beaches – I look at them and think – heck – you need to carry a body of water at least the size of the Pacific Ocean to protect these Americans against the Pacific Ocean.

“I’m telling you now, we should equip all of our lifeguards with oceans.

“U-S-A – U-S-A – U-S-A.”

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