Police call time on cunning plan for Julian Assange to accidentally walk outside

author avatar by 7 years ago

Police have stopped guarding the Ecuadorian embassy, finally admitting the failure of their cunning plan for Julian Assange to forget where he is and wander outside.

After spending £12m over three years on the exercise, police have reluctantly called time on Operation Hopefully Julian Assange Is An Idiot.

A police spokesperson told us, “We felt that £12m was an acceptable amount of money to spend on assuming that a man capable of developing Wikileaks under the noses of global intelligence was actually stupid enough to walk outside after forgetting he is a world-renowned fugitive effectively under house arrest.”

“You know how sometimes you walk into a room and forget why you went in? We were kinda hoping Operation Hopefully Julian Assange Is An Idiot would lead to something a bit like that, except with him going outside and directly into the arms of waiting police officers.”

“We genuinely thought it was a solid plan, but three years and £12m is probably long enough.”

“Of course, we’ll be bloody annoyed if someone posts photos of Julian Assange in the street outside the embassy tomorrow wearing a dressing gown and looking confused.”