Martians issued with hose-pipe ban following water discovery

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Martian authorities have issued an immediate hosepipe ban after confirmation by NASA of the existence of liquid water on the Red Planet.

The newly formed Martian Water Board have responded swiftly to the news, insisting a hosepipe ban is the only way to conserve the meagre amounts of water still left on Mars.

Martian, Holag Zag, told us he was disappointed the newly discovered resource was being restricted to the planet’s inhabitants so soon.

“We are still in spring, and no sooner has water been found by NASA than we have been banned from hosing down the flying saucer on a Sunday,” he told us.

“I mean, my garden hasn’t been watered for a couple of millions of years and now I’m expected to refresh it using a bucket or a basin – it is simply unacceptable.”

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Neighbour, Bolag Hag, a far-right sympathiser, was concerned the discovery may lead to an influx of extra-terrestrial foreigners eager to exploit the hitherto dormant water.

“We’re a close knit, some might say, secretive community and newcomers stand out like a sore seventh finger.

“We can’t afford to have our values eroded by those who haven’t even bothered to learn the language or know who scored the winner for Mars in the 1966 Intergalactic Cup.”

The Martian Water Board were more welcoming of the prospect of intergalactic immigration as a result of the find.

Spokesman, Zalag Galp, said, “For example, we have a serious shortage of plumbers, for obvious reasons.

“Has Poland entered the space race yet?”