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The Murdoch press is planning an exposé on Jeremy Corbyn after former associates revealed that in his youth he put his private parts into an adult human woman.
It is hoped the revelations will send shock waves through the Labour party and its supporters, when they are confronted with the ugly truth about what their leader liked to do with his genitals in his youth.
According to a former friend who has written an unofficial Corbyn memoir, the young Corbyn would ‘regularly place his penis inside the vagina of a female’, purely for his own entertainment.
The Murdoch papers will run a serialised version of the memoir in the hope that people will stop talking about their boy David Cameron fucking dead pigs.
Tomorrow’s headline will read “Young Corbyn Ejaculated Inside Woman” with all the lurid details inside – for those who can stomach it.
David Cameron fan Simon Williams said it was only fair that Jeremy Corbyn should face the same public scrutiny as his hero.
He told us, “If young men are going to go around putting their penises into things, then they have to expect the papers to write about it – even if those things are disgusting female sexual reproductive organs.”
“Honestly, I don’t see how anyone can ever look at Jeremy Corby again without picturing him balls-deep in some ‘woman’.”
“It’ll be the end of his career, you mark my words.”
