Friday 18 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Hungarian welcome wagon ‘looks nothing like a tank’, insists Hungary

Hungary Tank

The official welcoming wagon of the Hungarian government looks absolutely nothing like a military vehicle, according to government spokespeople.

Some refugees had suggested that the vehicle, with all-terrain tread and 65mm cannon, might be intended for use as something other than a party machine.

“That cannon only fires streamers, and we’re going to hang a piñata from the end of it” insisted Party Planner, Sergeant Major Simon Williams.

“And those aren’t soldiers, they’re just in fancy dress and to be fair they’ve made a bloody good effort, so you maggots should be grateful.”

“Bit embarrassing that they’ve all come in the same costume but nonetheless.”

Refugee, Liz Fletcher, said “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good party as much as the next person fleeing the smoking remains of her house.”

“All I’m saying is those super-soakers look a lot like M4A1 rifles and I think there might be something wrong with the smoke machine; it’s making a lot of us cry.”

Sergeant Major Williams said “nonsense, you’re probably just allergic to fun.”

“Now, who wants a good, old-fashioned game of run from the Doberman?”

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