David Cameron has been washing his hands for three-hours, after an aide mistakenly joked that poverty inside a Lebanese refugee camp was ‘contagious’.
Cameron visited the camp amid the crisis triggered by war in neighbouring Syria, in what experts are calling a “PR exercise so transparent you could use it as a screen protector for your new iPhone 6s”.
Most of his Lebanese visit has been postponed by a prolonged visit to a bathroom where could ‘wash everything thoroughly’.
Cameron told reporters, “I was told I had to come here to see it for myself, and to listen to poor brown people tell sad stories for a bit.”
“But no-one said anything about this being contagious? Jesus, I even shook hands with a couple of them.”
Cameron was asked if spending time with genuine refugees in need of help had made him consider taking a few more than the 20,000 he has committed to take in during this parliament.
He replied, “Are you kidding? If anything I want to build bigger walls and maybe move us another couple of hundred miles off the coast of Europe.”
“Have you got any more soap?”