Mum facing demand for peer-reviewed published evidence that face will indeed ‘stick like that’

author avatar by 9 years ago

Mother Sally Williams has been asked for published evidence in a peer-reviewed journal that her son’s face will in fact ‘stick like that’ if the wind changes.

Mrs Williams made the claim during a visit to the park, where her five-year old son Jake began making faces at the birds.

Jake told us, “It sounds patently ridiculous, doesn’t it? How can the direction of the wind have any influence whatsoever over the permanent musculature of my face?

“When she said it, she did that thing where she pretends like it’s a fact and moves on to something else, but frankly I want to see the evidence.

“And I don’t just mean a story about a kid she knows who had their face stick like that on a windy day.

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“I mean the articles published in a peer-reviewed journal which have ultimately led to a scientific consensus on the matter.

“Frankly, I think she’s making the whole thing up, and a quick Google seems to support my assertion.”

We asked Mrs Williams about her parenting approach and she told us, “Honestly, you people are killing me here.

“Only last week he conducted a series of experiments that conclusively determined that your nose stays exactly the same size no matter how big a lie you tell.

“Whoever said knowledge is the key to freedom clearly didn’t have young children.”

What do we want? Evidence-based science. When do we want it? After peer-review!