Bill Turnbull ‘sick of this shit’

author avatar by 8 years ago

There were tears on the Breakfast sofa yesterday when Bill Turnbull officially announced that he was ‘sick of this shit,’ and was leaving.

The shock announcement came midway through a piece on the sales of Lego.

The representative from Lego was explaining about the new range when Turnbull fell silent and began slowly shaking his head.

After several seconds he muttered ‘f**k this,’ and gasps of surprise could be heard in the studio.

Co-host Louise Minchin asked if he was alright.

“Alright?” repeated Turnbull, before staring venomously into the camera.

“Alright? Course I’m not f**king alright, I’m sick of this shit. I’ve spent fifteen f**king years getting up before f**king God to come in here, sit on this shitty Argos bastard sofa and pretend to be interested in f**k-faced nobnecks like Legoman here or Ed f**king Miliband.”

A visibly shocked Minchin tried to calm Turnbull down but he shrugged her off, stood on the sofa and removed his shirt.

“Get off me, you f**king harpy, I’m Bill f**king Turnbill. I’m bigger than all of you.”

He then began shouting at unseen people in the studio.

“You f**kers can fuck off too. Oh yeah? Try it. Go on, take a step closer and see what happens.”

At this point Turnbull started gesturing to his fly.

“Go on, try it and I’ll get little Bill out. I’ll f**king do it. Don’t think I won’t.”

Shortly afterwards he was restrained by security staff and dragged off-screen shouting “I’ll set my f**king bees on you, you f**kers. I’m King of the f**king bees.”

The 59 year-old has spent 15 years on BBC sofa and will now be ‘pursuing other projects.’