Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

author avatar by 9 years ago

Kermit the Frog split up with Miss Piggy after she had an affair with London Mayor Boris Johnson, it has been alleged this morning.

The Hollywood power couple have remained tight-lipped about the reasons for their breakup last month, but sources close to the two suggest that Piggy and Boris ‘grew close’ after discovering how much they had in common.

The stout, blond showbiz star met the stout, blonde showbiz star at a charity event last year and bonded over stories about how great they are, prosecco and a trough full of trifle.

“It was lust at first sight over a heaped pile of profiteroles”, sources close to the two told us.

“And you know Boris; he can’t keep it in his pants.”

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“And nor could she! Woof!”

“Or oink, as the case may be.”

When confronted with accusations that he had done it with a stuffed comedy pig, Johnson shrugged and told reporters they’d have to be more specific.

Kermit is reported to have already moved on from the relationship, and is dating a slightly insecure woman twenty years his junior after joining the Church of Scientology.