Subbuteo to sue Liverpool defence for copyright infringement

author avatar by 9 years ago

Subbuteo are to sue the entire Liverpool back four for copyright infringement following their performance during their 3-0 home defeat to West Ham.

The game, which turned table tops into something even more boring, was a 1970’s smash hit with boys yet to discover masturbation.

A spokesman for Paul Lamond games, who produce Subbuteo said retribution would be swift.

“Having watched the highlights, we were shocked at the similarities between how the Liverpool defence stood around watching the action around them, and how subbuteo players perform,” he told us.

“Their complete failure to offer even the most basic of resistance in preventing a goal raised immediate alarm bells with our copyright lawyers.”

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“Dejan Lovren, in particular for the 2nd West Ham goal, exhibited all the rigidity and in-game awareness of one of our well-known figurines, and we just felt we had seen enough, and decided to act on our lawyers concerns.”

Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers warned the outfit any litigation would fail as miserably as his training ground methods.

“No-one in their right mind would believe you could acquire shambolic defending and a complete lack of tactics for an estimated outlay of forty quid for a Subbuteo set,” he told reporters.

“That doesn’t touch the sides.”

“You need hundreds of millions of pounds to achieve that level of performance on a consistent basis.”