The list of new appointments to the House of Lords has been released and features a heavy bias towards supporters of the Prime Minister, most notably; his dog.
“Rover has given tremendous service to the country,” said David Cameron with a straight face.
“He brings invaluable skills to the House such as barking, fetching a ball, and chasing birds. He is also considerably less likely to make a mess in the hallway than some of the other Lords.”
Rover the dog is the first animal to be made a Lord, although is probably no more a ludicrous appointment than that of Douglas Hogg.
David Cameron was forced to deny accusations that he was loading the Lords with his own supporters after the list of new Lords was revealed to feature his wife and their children, his milkman, his dentist, the man who runs his local newsagent, the woman who polishes his shoes and everyone who voted conservative in the last election.
“What’s that? Party bias, you say? Nonsense. These people are simply being rewarded for their tremendous service to the country.”
“I mean, no one thinks the Prime Minister of the UK should have scruffy shoes.”
Lord Rover, meanwhile, sniffed his new seat in the Lords and proceeded to lick his own genitals before curling up and going to sleep, much the same as when Lord Prescott took his seat in the Lords.