Chelsea sign Pedro after his partner passes exhaustive John Terry medical

author avatar by 9 years ago

Chelsea have completed the signing of Barcelona striker Pedro after the Spanish hitman’s partner passed a rigorous physical examination conducted by club captain John Terry.

The transfer was sealed on Wednesday after Terry had approved the new addition, having been given unlimited access to the World Cup winners partner Carolina.

Chelsea chairman Bruce Buck told reporters, “Throughout this process Pedro has displayed a real willingness to sacrifice the feelings of those closest to him, those to whom he had sworn his most sincere commitment and allegiance on an ongoing basis.”

“No, not to the Barcelona fans, I mean to his partner, only for him to submit her to an evening playing in the one position left to Terry that he can perform consistently well in.”

Pedro to Chelsea

The medical at the club’s training ground boudoir is said to have gone smoothly, with club insiders insisting it was only ever a formality as Pedro’s partner is incredibly fit, and Terry has always had a soft spot about foreigners.

Buck went on to highlight how he felt it was this kind of selfless gesture from Pedro that made him an ideal signing for the London club.

“It is this kind of virtue-free behaviour that immediately singled him out as a player who would quickly settle into a Chelsea team that believes moral fibre to be some sort of breakfast cereal.”

Buck went on to confirm that Chelsea might once again spend big in the summer, saying Terry has his eye on one or two new signings.

“He really likes the look of that Helen Flanagan, so don’t be surprised to see us make another move for Scott Sinclair.”