by 
A local man has expressed his anger after a colleague refused to stay silent following his offer to pick up a sandwich.
Office Manager, Robert Sharp, was “just heading out for a sandwich” and politely asked “anybody want anything?” while expecting everyone to remain resolutely silent as per usual so he could enjoy an unburdened 45 minutes to himself.
“Then Dan, this little shit in tech support, pipes up,” said a seething Sharp, “says ‘ooh yes please, can you get me a chicken and bacon baguette?’”
“Then he says he’ll ‘sort me out’ with the money he owes me when I get back; who on earth does he think he is? Tom Jones?”
Rachel Bradbury, a 29 year-old PA who witnessed the incident, said “there are some things you just don’t do.”
“Poor Robert. All he wanted was an hour without any stress at all. Then Captain Tosspot asks for a sandwich.”
“I bet he’s the kind of tedious individual who actually TELLS you when you ask how they are.”
Dan Norris, a 25 year-old techie, said “I really don’t see what I’ve done wrong here.”
“Someone offered to buy me food. Only a fool would turn that down, surely?”
“Either way, I really don’t think this is a matter for HR, but nonetheless I’m off to a tribunal now, if you’ll excuse me.”
Sharp said “good, I hope they have him killed.”
