Friday 7 August 2015 by DavyWavy

Donald Trump feared lost after disappearing up his own arse

donald Trump feared lost

Medical experts in the United States are trying to coax Donald Trump out of his own arse after he vanished up inside it during a televised debate last night.

Witnesses described how, during a lengthy rant about how great he is, Trump was slowly sucked up by his own anus with a repulsive slurping noise.

All that remained was a small pink ring on the cushion of his chair, which would occasionally shout ‘I’m a winner!’

“I’d say it’s shocking, but nobody was actually all that surprised”, an eyewitness told us.

“It was only a matter of time, really.”

Doctors tried to encourage Trump to emerge by dangling a piece of cheese in front of the orifice, but it was Monterey Jack which the varyingly-wealthy billionaire said sounded ‘suspiciously Mexican’.

Trump has gained in the polls overnight, with many Americans saying that an angry pink ring on a cushion is what they want from a president.

Reports suggest that experts in the disorder from Britain are flying out to assist, following their experience of treating Nigel Farage with a similar complaint in 2013.

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