Man failing to give tiniest shit about what biscuits politicians eat

author avatar by 9 years ago

A man on the Internet has said he literally couldn’t give less of a shit what sort of biscuits politicians eat in their meetings.

Simon Williams, 34, invited a cascade of criticism for taking the position that it’s a mindlessly unimportant issue and perhaps there are better ways to spend your time than getting all worked up about it.

He went on to add that he ‘couldn’t give a monkey’s chuff’ whether the biscuits were bought from the public purse.

Williams has faced a storm of abuse over his controversial comments on social media, with suggestions that if he likes paying for biscuits so much why doesn’t he ‘climb into a biscuit making machine and see how he likes it’ being commonplace.

Meanwhile, critics have argued that Jammy Dodgers are a waste of public money and could easily be replaced by Rich Tea to show we’re all in it together.

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“I just don’t get it”, Simon told us.

“I mean, who has the time to care about this shit?”

He was then distracted by someone throwing a brick through his window with a note attached calling him biscuit-denying scum.

In other news, SNP supporters have today demanded another referendum based on unconfirmed reports that someone in Westminster ate a Bourbon Cream ‘paid for by Scotland’s oil’.