Premier League wages ensure players can afford twice as much gaudy tat as Spanish counterparts

The average premier league footballer can afford twice as much gaudy tat as their Spanish equivalent, according to a new wages survey.

Researchers at VoucherBin.co.uk pulled out some interesting facts about what players in the English Premier League earn, and came up with this creative Infographic.

Football analyst Simon Williams told us, “Players in the English premier league are the best paid in the world, and if we know anything about footballers it’s that great wealth doesn’t, in any way, buy great taste.”

“From chrome plated sports cars to diamond encrusted watches, the average premier league footballer looks like a cross between a colour blind pimp and the star of a modern-day remake of Brewster’s Millions.”

“Players in Spain and Italy have nice cars and houses, but research shows they’re earning less than half what their English-based compatriots can earn.”

“This means they’re not literally sitting on mountains of money, so throwing cash at gaudy trinkets that are both cringingly hideous and ridiculously expensive is far less prevalent on the continent.”

“So, if you’re the sort of person who makes diamond studded kettles at twenty-five grand a pop, I know a couple of hundred twenty-somethings that might be interested.”