Calls to give Lords a salary as Lord Sewel forced to snort cocaine using a ‘Fiver’ and just two prostitutes

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The have been calls to give members of the House of Lords a competitive salary after Lord Sewel was forced to snort his cocaine using the lowest denomination note available.

The chairman of the privileges and conduct committee in the Lords was filmed snorting cocaine from the breasts of a prostitute using an old five-pound note, in a scene many have described as being ’embarrassingly low rent’.

As one member of the Lords explained, “We get £300 for sitting in a session, but no salary as such, and this means finances can be very tight for a lot of us.”

“It’s not surprising that Lord Sewel had to use a fiver to snort his cocaine – it was probably to be biggest thing in his wallet.”

“I would imagine he’s got some sort of credit arrangement with the prostitutes, rather than paying them in cash like you’d hope people in his position would be able to.”

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“And notice there were only two prostitutes – this is not a man flushed with cash, and he’s clearly limiting his prostitute use to a more manageable number.”

“Do we really want members of the House of Lords worrying about how they will pay for their cocaine and prostitute habits? Or do we want them focussed on keeping an eye on what those untrustworthy MPs are up to?”

Lord Sewel ‘fiver’

Members of the electorate have said it’s about time those in the House of Lords were paid a proper wage.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “If MPs are with over £70k, plus expenses, then we should be giving the Lords a similar amount. I certainly don’t see cocaine prices coming down anytime soon, do you?”

“I don’t care what it takes, I want our most powerful people to be able to use fifty pound notes and be in the company of several high-end escorts when they’re snorting cocaine – anything less makes our whole country look poor.”

“I’m sick of our political elite looking small-time.”