US National Rifle Association calls for ban on ‘cinemas’

author avatar by 9 years ago

After another fatal shooting at a US cinema, the National Rifle Association has insisted that the only way to prevent further tragedies of this nature is to ban cinemas.

The shooting at a cinema in Lafayette three dead, including the gunman, and forced the NRA to call for immediate changes to existing legislation.

NRA spokesperson Wayne Lapierre told reporters, “This is another terrible moment for the United States, and our hearts go out to all of those affected, but now is the time to acknowledge that this senseless act would never have happened if it wasn’t for this ‘cinema’.”

“People will say that the right to an entertaining social life is an inalienable right and was core to the vision of this country’s forefathers, but we live in different times now, and clearly something needs to be done.”

“It won’t be popular, and people will obviously resist the change, but in order to protect this nation’s citizens, it is now the time to ban cinemas.”

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“Do you know how many cinema massacres there are in Chad? None. Do you know why? Because it’s almost impossible to see a decent film at a cinema there.”

“The evidence is right there in front of us.”

National Rifle Association

When asked if tighter gun control laws could also have prevented the Louisiana shooting, Lapierre said such suggestions were simply ‘grasping at straws’.

He went on, “People will make knee jerk assumptions on why this tragic event occurred but I would ask you all not to lose sight of the fact that these victims were gathered in a convenient place of entertainment.”

“First Aurora, and now Lafayette. Cinema is at the root of all these tragedies.”

“High-powered assault rifles don’t kill people, cinemas do.”