A milkshake has failed to bring any boys to the yard this afternoon, we can report.
The shake, a full-fat strawberry made with actual juicy bits and a scoop of caramel ice-cream, has not brought a single boy despite being available in the yard since 9am this morning.
Observers suggest that the yard being in the hipster haven of Shoreditch may be a contributory factor in the ongoing failure.
They’re like “is it soy-latte made with ethically sourced ingredients?”, a young man with a luxuriant beard told us.
“I’m actually lactose intolerant actually,” he added.
“I mean, not according to the doctor, but I try not to eat dairy after reading about it on the Internet.”
“And unless those strawberries are fair trade and grown in a cooperative collective then I think that’s evil, actually.”
Despite the maker of the milkshake insisting that it is better than yours, it remains resolutely untouched so you wouldn’t have to share.