Thursday 23 July 2015 by Neil Tollfree

UK to host 2016 Hunger Games

UK Hunger games

The 2016 Hunger Games will be held in Richmond Park, London, it was announced yesterday.

The popular sport that features children from underprivileged backgrounds murdering each other in the countryside is understood to be hugely popular with the hunting crowd.

“I love to see young poor people being brutally killed,” said David Cameron

“So, I’m tremendously excited to have the Hunger Games coming to London and I’m sure that our young people who enter will put on a great show.”

“I mean, it’s not as if they’ve anything worth living for other than a heroic death for the amusement of others.”

The games traditionally take place in trap-filled arenas and plans are afoot for exploding deer, menacing, Burberry clad chav-bots on bikes, and poisoned squirrels.

Sixth former Paul Christopher plans to enter.

“Yeah, I mean I’m doing a media studies A-Level, so my life is essentially over anyway, and from what people have told me, these Hunger Games sound like Saturday night on my estate, so I might have a bit of an advantage.”

Critics have claimed that the Hunger Games are just a way of distracting the ordinary people from their hollow, empty existence under a brutally repressive Government.

“No, I refute that utterly,” said Mr Cameron.

“I couldn’t give a toss about ordinary people.”

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