Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has criticised Doctors and healthcare workers who have posted selfies with the hashtag #ImInWorkJeremy when they should be working.
“This is entirely typical of the sort of bone-idle, workshy, layabout doctors we have in this country,” he said as his Malaysian houseboy brought him a Cuba Libre while he relaxed by his pool at the start of his six-week holiday.
“Honestly, it’s worse than Spain.”
The #ImInWorkJeremy hashtag began in response to the Health Secretary’s plans to enforce weekend working across the health service, and put an end to the current problem of all hospital and ambulance staff knocking off at 5pm on Friday to spend the weekend lying on the sofa drinking wine and watching the cricket.
Mr Hunt considers this problem, which exists only in his head, to be one of vital importance.
“We pay these people to work, not take pictures of themselves,” he continued, as a buxom, bikinied beauty gently massaged sun-cream into his shoulders.
“You know, I heard one doctor complain that a manager in Pret-a-Manger earned more than a doctor.”
“Well, how many selfies with snarky messages do you see from Pret-a-Manger managers? Eh?”
Jeremy Hunt’s other plans for Health reforms are to have GPs offices in nightclubs, to replace pharmacists with antibiotic dispensing machines, and the mandatory culling of anyone too sick to work.