Food manufacturers aren’t actually ‘hiding’ any sugar in their food at all because that’s actually illegal as all hell, it was revealed today.
A new study has revealed that every food nutrition label ever used actually displays the sugar, fat and poison content in a clear and concise manner.
“Basically, you’re all just ignoring it,” said Food Label Specialist, Anthony Mack.
“We are not going to make a massive song and dance about how much sugar there is in an orange juice, obviously, but we’re not going to illegally hide it from you either.”
“All of the information is there for you to see. All of you have to do is a spot of extremely light reading.”
“We’ve met our legal obligation to display the nutritional value of a packet of Skittles on the packet – but I’m afraid we can’t come shopping with you and read the packet aloud to you.”
Consumers were shocked by the news.
“I’m shocked by the news” confirmed Sales Manager, Linda Cartwright.
“I never knew just how much sugar there is in a fruit smoothie. Mainly because I’ve never read the legally required nutritional information on the label that has all of that information in an easily read format.”
“I do think it needs to be clearer. Percentages and massive, colour-coded warning labels just aren’t enough for people like me.”
The only foods that don’t come with nutritional information are fresh fruits and vegetables, but that’s not yet been marked as a concern by the Department for Health as most British refuse to go within 100 yards of either.
“Deep-fry the fuckers, then we’ll talk” said Cartwright.