Mute Brummie invited to join Mensa

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A Birmingham resident without the ability to speak has been asked to join Mensa, after appearing to be a genius when compared to his cacophonous neighbours.

Simon Williams, who has been mute since birth, wrote that he had been asked to join the high IQ society after representatives spent a few days in Birmingham last week.

Speaking using sign language Williams told us, “These people from Mensa came to meet me and some of the people who live on my street. I’ve not idea why, I guess they got some funding to try and find a member from Birmingham.”

“So they had lots of conversations, most of which led to them displaying pain on their faces, but when they came to me I just gave them a knowing smile and let them move on.”

“Later that day they emailed me back to tell me that apparently I’m some sort of genius and would I like to join Mensa.”

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“I said yes of course, the only thing I’ve ever qualified before was cycling proficiency. I only have two GCSEs and here I am in Mensa.”

“It really does pay to keep your mouth shut.”

Brummie accent

A spokesperson for Mensa said that they were delighted that Williams had decided to join, ending a decades long search for anyone from Birmingham deemed bright enough to join their ranks.

“We’ve seen plenty of excellent CVs, some outstanding test scores, but the moment they open their mouths? Eurgh – they just sound like a simpleton.”

“That’s what makes Simon the perfect Brummie.”