Bank of England warns of rise in tedious mortgage conversations

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Bank of England governor Mark Carney has warned that the end of the year could see a sharp rise in the number of tedious conversations about mortgages.

With interest rates having remained stable and low since the financial crisis, tedious mortgage-based conversations have not been something most people have had to worry about.

Carney explained, “There are people out there today who have never been subjected to an hour-long tale about one couple’s tiresome hunt to find a reasonable capital repayment mortgage.”

“They seem to think that mortgage-free conversations have become the norm, and I’m warning today that this is not the case.”

“By the end of the year we could see soul-destroyingly boring conversations about massive financial products possibly doubling, and reaching a level four times what they are today by 2017/18.”

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“People need to prepare for that, and if that means saving up a few humorous anecdotes of your own to counter-act the effects, then so be it.”

Mortgage conversation rates

Home-owner Simon Williams said he wasn’t sure he could handle the coming rise.

He told us, “I remember back in the nineties when mortgage conversations were ten times the rate that they are today. It was horrific.”

“You literally couldn’t buy a loaf of bread without someone explaining to you about their fruitless search for a two-year fixed-term rate that wasn’t at least a couple of digits above base rate.”

“It makes me weep just to think about it.”

“God help us all.”