Minute’s silence to be held for victims of benefit cuts

author avatar by 8 years ago

PM David Cameron will hold a minute’s silence for the forgotten victims of the British benefits tragedy.

The pause will be timed to coincide with the exact moment more than five years ago when a group of extremists seized power and unleashed a wave of terror on the sick and disabled.

Britain will fall silent as people remember somebody in a vulnerable position who has since taken their own life, rather than appear in a sneering Channel 4 documentary.

Across these fair green isles, people are expected to momentarily cease their acquisition of meaningless tat and will remove their Audis from disabled parking bays. Quietly.

Flags will be flown at half-mast in Whitehall and at three recently-closed Remploy centres near Warrington.

Disabled Rights campaigner Simon Williams said, “Just as we rightly remember the tragedy in Tunisia, it is important for us to also acknowledge the victims of home-grown extremism perpetrated by those who attended Eton.”

Cameron said, “According to a focus group, this is the right and proper thing to do. And with £12 billion in cuts on the way, we’ll probably have to do another one next year.”

“The last thing we want is people, mainly librarians, thinking we’re a bunch of hypocritical bastards.”

Police have confirmed they will be speaking to a senior Tory in connection with the attacks, who is known to use a number of aliases such as Iain and Duncan.

Defiant disabled man and blue badge holder Geoff Bloom said, “It’s important not to give in to these bastards.”

“Maybe next time you’ll think about getting off your perfectly-able fucking lazy arse and voting.”