Greece given last chance for 1,274th time

author avatar by 9 years ago

Greece has been given it’s 1,274th last chance, we can report this morning.

The ‘Troika’ of the EU, the European Central Bank and the IMF have today issued a stern ultimatum to the Greek government saying they absolutely, positively, totally mean it this time.

Unlike all the other times.

No, really, we do.

The announcement follows last chances awarded to Greece last week, the week before that, three times the week before that, and in general consistently since 2011.

Speaking to reporters, a visibly cross Angela Merkel said “We’re serious this time. If the Greeks don’t make meaningful concessions, then…ooooh, I don’t know.”

“But this is their last chance, and I absolutely mean that. ”

“Sort it out, or, well, I’m not going to say what I’ll do. But it’ll be really really serious. I’m not kidding, buster, you mark my words.”

Critics of the troika have pointed out that they’re never going to see their money again no matter what they do, so they may as well just give it up as a bad job.