God facing enormous Child Support Agency bill

author avatar by 9 years ago

God is today facing a huge bill from the Child Support Agency after revelations he has not contributed one penny towards the upbringing of his approximately 6 billion children.

Despite being the father to all of mankind, mothers everywhere insist they have yet to receive a single cheque.

Mother of three Sharon Williams told us, “Like any good Christian mother my kids have been raised as God’s children, but it’s not like school uniforms grow on trees.”

“There are clothes and school trips and toys, and don’t get me started on the food. None of which God has helped to pay for.”

“It’s not that God treats them particularly badly, it’s just the kids wouldn’t recognise Him on the street if He walked past them – what sort of father could do that?”

“It’s quite neglectful I guess.”

“He’s not been to one football match, one parents evening or ballet recital.  So I think the least He could do is push a little cash our way every now and again.”

“I’ve seen some of his churches, I know He’s not short of a bob or two.”

Child Support Agency

Those in the Christian community have said that any claim by the Child Support Agency fails to address the fundamental principles of their religion.

A representative of God told us, “No, sorry, you seem to have become confused about how this relationship works.”

“You give us money. Not the other way round.”