French really bad losers, reports show

author avatar by 9 years ago

The French are really bad losers, we can report today.

Two hundred years after getting soundly hammered at Waterloo, the French are still bitching about it.

With reports that the French government attempted to block a new Euro coin commemorating the battle out of sulk, the fact that everyone else is celebrating the anniversary of their most potent defeat is making many French do their nut.

French newspapers are reporting the occasion and publishing histories of Napoleon whilst glossing over the uncomfortable fact he was comprehensively thrashed fair and square by the British.

“Waterloo wasn’t so much a defeat as a postponed victory for France”, said a Frenchman in deep, deep denial.

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“If the Duke of Wellington ‘won’ it was because he cheated, so there.”

“I bet we’d’ve won if we’d had another go.”

“Tell you what – best two out of three. How about it?”

As a reenactment of the battle is set to take place, rumours are circulating that the French reenactors may be planning to try to reverse the actual, historic outcome to try and salvage some vestige of pride.

However, when asked, a burly Scotsman encountered leaning against the gates of the farm at Houguemont suggested they ‘bring it on.’