Bidders for 2026 World Cup wishing they’d kept receipts for bribes

author avatar by 9 years ago

Nations bidding to host the 2026 World Cup have been left wishing they’d got a receipt their bribes after FIFA announced it was postponing the bidding process.

With Canada, Mexico and Colombia already confirming their interest in holding the World Cup in 2026, the football associations of those countries said they had spent untold amounts securing favour with FIFA executives, only to find out it was pointless.

A spokesperson for the Colombian FA told us, “As a nation, we have a certain fondness for cash related transactions, which is why we get on so well with FIFA – they are of much the same mind.”

“We don’t believe in paper trails, so we never asked for a receipt, obviously. But that is admittedly looking pretty foolish right now.”

“That said, anyone wishing to take Colombian money and then not deliver their side of the deal is a brave man indeed.”

“Let’s see just how brave they are.”

World Cup 2026

Another titan of global sport, Kazakhstan, had previously expressed an interest in bidding for the 2026 event.

However an insider from their football association told us, “It looks like we won’t bother now.”

“What is the point in having an abundance of natural resources such as oil and gas if you can’t use to them to buy yourself a football tournament every now and again?”

“We spent a lot of time on our initial bid document, which we wrote on one side of A4 then packed inside a suitcase full of cash and sent off to Switzerland, as instructed.”

“No, we didn’t get a receipt.”