McDonald’s has abandoned plans for their new ‘McPlacenta’ burger after new studies revealed that eating placenta does ‘not benefit health.’
The fast-food company planned the new burger after seeing a boost in popularity of eating placenta, particularly amongst stupid middle-class people who believe any old nonsense when it’s promoted as ‘natural’.
“Damn shame,” said Simon Williams, McDonald’s head of product development
“We’d found a great producer for the ingredients; the skip behind the hospital. So, you know, locally sourced.”
“The plan was to mince up the placenta with some reclaimed bovine product and a herb, fry it, and put it in a bun.”
“We were hoping to attract young Mums, and if we’ve got young Mums, we’ve got their babies, and we’ve loads of evidence to say that if you give a baby some fries to suck on, you’ve got a customer for life.”
However, with the key element of the ‘McPlacenta’ burger being its health benefits, and with the study finding no evidence to support said benefits, McDonald’s sees no point in continuing.
“Personally I still thought it was still worth exploring, because the study also showed there were no adverse health effects, so that’s already ahead of 60-70% percent of our products.”
It is unknown whether this will affect the McDonald’s Expressed milk-shake, which had been expected to launch at the same time.