Everyone shocked as bankrupt nation somehow fails to pay debts

author avatar by 8 years ago

The world of international finance is in shock this morning at the news that a bankrupt nation has somehow failed to pay its debts.

In an event nobody could possibly have foreseen, the Greeks missed a repayment deadline simply due to having no money whatsoever.

“Being flat broke is not an acceptable reason for not paying up”, we were told by the International Monetary Fund.

“What’s a few hundred million? You can always find that from somewhere.”

“We spend that on lunch round here.”

However the Greek finance ministry insisted that meeting their obligations would involve the Greek people being honest in declaring their taxes and taking fewer benefits, so that’s just not going to happen.

Greece failing to meet its debts risks a rout on the international bond markets, capital flight on an unprecedented scale, a rupture in the Euro, and ultimately the failure of the EU project.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage is reported to have punched the air and shouted “Yes!” when told the news.

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown helpfully suggested the Greeks could borrow more money to pay their debts, as that worked out tremendously well when he did it.

However, a spokesman for the international money markets appeared blasé at the news of the missed repayment.

“When we loaned Greece all this money there’s no way we ever expected them to pay it back”, we were told.

“We expected the Germans to. Cough up, Fritz.”